But I had only embraced physical sobriety, not lust sobriety. I found a good job and got involved in Sexaholics Anonymous service. I got a sponsor, went to meetings, and began working the Steps. I made the call and got to my first meeting. We argued, and that argument led me to see that I had a problem. I was lost in the haze of acting out and didn’t realize she was looking over my shoulder. One night I was online setting up a date with a man, thinking my wife was asleep. She was in the major career position of her life, and I was creating hell for her. In 1997, I had an affair with a guy living in our home. I stayed up all hours of the night getting my fix from male same-sex sites, personal sites, chat rooms, and video sex. I developed more rituals to enhance my acting out. When the Internet arrived in our home, it became my main activity.
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